The Impermanent Novel
So, I'm about three books behind in my posts... I'll start with Jake Fades by David Guy.

When I began to read Jake Fades, I felt unable to tolerate David Guy's writing style. Had he never heard of pronouns? Verbs? Much of the text seemed implied rather than written out to be read. I pushed on, though, and reaped the reward. I haven't read any other books by Guy, so I assume that the incomplete prose owes itself to the thought patterns of the narrator, Hank. Once I realized that it was Hank who couldn't speak a complete sentence, I forgave Mr. Guy and got down to business.

And just what "business" do I mean? Beer and sex. That kind of business. This is not your mother's Buddhist novel. Lest you be put off, do keep prodding. It gets worse, but it's worth it. Jake Fades in a real Buddhist way. There are no perfect heroes, only humans -- who happen to be Buddhist priests.

True, I knew very well where things were going by about half-way through the novel, but there were surprises in the end... The neatness with which the ends were tucked might be the least believable part of the book. Yet, our narrator, Hank (sex addict cum Zen priest) portrays the reality of Buddhist practitioners. Initially, we seek redemption and lose heart. We return to the practice without it, knowing instead the raw beauty of our own imperfect existence. Here we find Jake's imperfections, Hank's imperfections, and indeed our own.

I'm in a "Carnival":

http://www.moritherapy.org/article/a-buddhist-carnival-february-2008-part-1/

Scroll down and you'll find a link to my
"lovely post on the dedication of merit."

(Smile.)

More on "Thank You and OK!"
I'm almost to the end of this book and I've just relished it. With so many highlights from witch to choose, I'm not sure what to say...

For starters, I thought this book would be a slightly fluffy memoir. Not so. The depth of this book affected me as if I had been reading a "Buddhist text." Chadwick's insights into the Japanese culture and the culture of old-world Zen proliferate. Not just his story, "Thank You and OK!" tells the story of two very different "Zens."

One chapter, though, made me smile. "Oryoki the True Way." For those who aren't familiar with the term, oryoki refers to a very complicated manner in which Zen monks eat out of stacked and cloth-wrapped bowls. About oryoki, he writes:

It's the last thing that my friends back in Texas would have imagined me doing with large chunks of my life. It's nothing I would have volunteered for. But it's part of the Japanese Zen package, a very important part to the Soto Zen teachers I've known. They would feel naked without it in monastic life. The largest Tibetan Buddhist group in the States took up the practice.* I must admit that I look back warmly on many years of oryoki use.

While he looks back, I'm looking forward. I'll be using oryoki at Dathun in July! Of course, I'll only be doing a week-thun, but it will be quite the experience for me...

*Emphasis added -- he's talking about Shambhala. :)

Dedicating the Merit
My very first meditation teacher, Ethan Nichtern, first taught me the traditional Shambhala dedication of merit. At Karme Choling, I carefully memorized the two paragraphs, since we said it at the end of each day's session -- and I wanted to be a part of the whole practice.

When I came home, the practice stuck. I say it at the end of each of my meditation sessions, no matter what. Sometimes it might seem that your sitting lacked focus (i.e., your mind ran like a roller coaster off its rails). Dedicating the merit at the end reminds me that even the most scattered meditation has intrinsic value.

By this merit, may all attain omniscience.
May it defeat the enemy, wrongdoing.
From the stormy waves of birth, old age, sickness and death,
From the ocean of Samsara may I free all beings.

By the power of the golden sun of the Great East,
May the lotus garden of the Rigden's wisdom bloom.
May the dark ignorance of sentient beings be dispelled.
May all beings enjoy profound, brilliant glory.

One day last week, it occurred to me that I could not possibly "free all beings from the ocean of samsara." I never dissected it before. I just said it. It was part of the practice. "Wow," I thought, "how can I say that each morning?"

Then, just a day or two later, it all made perfect sense...

My current Buddhist reading is the book Thank You and OK! by David Chadwick. The book recounts his experiences as an American Buddhist monk living in Japan. I stumbled upon this passage on page 29:

An hour later, the last chant is the Four Vows, in Japanese and then in English. It goes something like this:

Beings are numberless, I vow to save them.
Delusions are limitless, I vow to cut them off.
Dharma gates are boundless, I vow to enter them.
The Buddha's Way is unsurpassable, I vow to become it.

It's a tall order. I was taught by Soto Zen teachers just to chant it and not to get hung up on the impossibility of it... In this business you get used to contradictions -- even if you stick to one sect or one teacher. If contradictions are in the way, then the Four Vows will be impossible.

My Hand is Cramping Up...
Because I've been busy drawing little scales on a dragon. We got a book on how to draw dragons at work and I've been SO tempted. So, I did it. Here's my "ouroboros" or "tail-devourer" -- an ancient symbol of eternity -- in ink and watercolor.

And now I have to brag about my daughter, who was also drawing scales today... Although she doesn't yet know how to read musical notes, she gets the concept of beats and measures and started to write her first song. She just might be a rock star.

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Midland   "You have a Midland accent" is just another way of saying "you don't have an accent." You probably are from the Midland (Pennsylvania, southern Ohio, southern Indiana, southern Illinois, and Missouri) but then for all we know you could be from Florida or Charleston or one of those big southern cities like Atlanta or Dallas. You have a good voice for TV and radio.
Philadelphia
The Inland North
The South
The Northeast
The West
Boston
North Central
What American accent do you have? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Well, Since Someone Tagged Me, I Must Be "It"
I was tagged by Fluffy, so here are five random/weird facts about me. Unlike Fluffy, I have never done this before...

1. I never meant to be a teacher...or a librarian...and most definitely not a children's librarian. Really. I was supposed to get a PhD in History and been a professor or work at a museum. I had always worked at archives and historical libraries prior to my current (eight year) job. It's funny how our paths tend to digress...

My boyfriend says he imagines I'd do well with a white-glove-wearing profession and that he can't imagine me around a bunch of rowdy, messy kids.

2. I meditate every day, so as not to be driven insane by my (librarian) boss. I tried other things, like, say, throwing stuff. Sometimes she was in the room when I threw stuff.

For the record, she's still a nut-job -- I just don't let it bother me. I even have compassion for the fact that she's a tense, controlling person. Everyone should try meditation. Really.

3. I do yoga to prevent injury (in bed). Really. It's a good thing. My boyfriend would SO injure me. Thanks to yoga, I have balance in many different positions, and I'm pretty flexible.

He doesn't even know that I strike yoga poses all the time. I was just thinking the other day that, if he were in the back of my yoga class, he'd crack up at the familiarity of it all.

4. I can recognize a tenor sax in one note. (OK, perhaps two.) I never would have been able to do that, had I not been involved with a very good tenor sax player.

I played flute growing up, but I guess I always had more interest in watching _other_ people play instruments than playing one of my own.

5. There will be no Santa at my home this year. I'm doing Solstice with my kids instead. Finally, after years of not being Christian, I realized that doing Christmas was pretty silly.

We're going to the Shambhala center for Children's Day and then coming home for snacks and Solstice gifts. And, hey, my kids will know exactly where that loot came from...

The rules for this:

1. Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog.
2. Share 5 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3. Tag 5 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
4. Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
5. Don’t break the chain!

I also don't have 5 people whose blogs I read AND who know who the hell I am. . .

Gimpadelic.
Fluffy.
Digiphile.