New bumper sticker idea:

Best Place to have a Nervous Breakdown: Church

Yep. That Monday night “class” I’m in at church – what a doozie! I totally cried at the end tonight. I would feel like a pathetic waste if it wasn’t “OK” to cry there. Thank God (literally)…

The assignment: The Human – What limits do I encounter?

Kind of a big topic, eh? Consider historical examples of the best and worst of human nature. Easy, yes? Dr. King v. Hitler? But Dr. King also knew moral limitation (ahem, if you know what I mean)… What on Earth does it mean to be human? What is human nature?

So, rather than do any work today, I pondered these points. I considered the Seven Deadly Sins and the Seven Virtues. I thought about my personal “best” and “worst” moments, my successes and my failures. And, as always, engaged in lively discussion with Nina.

Tonight, I revealed my thoughts to the group – how my relationships at work shine as triumphs, how my personal relationships loom as disasters. While managing to be congenial and supportive and equitable and sharing and a “team player” at work, I could not win on the home field. (I have always questioned the concept of “home field advantage.” All that noise could screw up anybody, never mind what team you’re on.)

I explained that I sought a “middle path” in my life, without self-mortification. I seek a balance between self-knowledge and assertiveness versus the constant mindfulness that humility, patience, kindness, liberality and abstinence require. Profound ideas, and yet felt by so many people. The human condition could just be that quest for balance…

That wasn’t at all what brought tears to my eyes, though. Everyone shared whom they would invite to their dinner table (living or dead) and to what purpose. I misinterpreted the assignment and came unprepared to answer this question. Yet, at the end of the class, I understood my answer. I shared that I wished I could share my table with my partner, since he was the reason I’d found this church, but that he was in New York. It’s a good thing it’s OK to cry at my church, that’s all I have to say…